


A sky full of stars

by Something_Poetic



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst and Humor, Beaches, Bottom! Oz, Drama, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Romance, Stars, Time Skips, Vincent Van Gogh - Freeform, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 13:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7642201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Something_Poetic/pseuds/Something_Poetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So if you want to elope… I'm here to run with you," he promised under a night full of stars, wishing for nothing more but for Oz to say, "I chose you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	A sky full of stars

> I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day  
>  V. Van Gogh

 

* * *

 

 

 

December 26, 2016 - 05.59 am

 

> “ _Goooooood morning everyone, t’is six in the morning and for many of you unfortunate folks, time to wake up! I am Jürgen Van Houten, yourrrrrrr favorite radio host, ready to get you through this tough ordeal. I’ll let you all wake up with one of my favorite songs, ‘cuz who doesn’t want to wake up with an amazing song like this one, eh? Here is Laura Palmer performed by…. Bastille_!”

 

Gilbert felt how the person lying next him softly stirred. For once, it wasn’t him that woke up first. His head still hurt too much from the party the day before. Oz had warned him not to drink too much, yet he had chosen to ignore him and instead drank glass after glass. Until he could barely walk properly. Oz had laughed. Even when he had to help Gilbert up the stairs of their small apartment-complex.

Even though the terrible hangover. He was _–perhaps not so-_  proud to admit that he could still remember most of that night. He remembered all the embarrassing moments. How Break had made fun of him, he remembered his drunk fight with Alice. And how Sharon and Oz had to get in between before things got too much out of hand.

But most of all, he remembered Oz helping him out of his clothes. _“I told you not to drink so much, you’re terrible at holding your liquor, Gil_.” He had scolded the taller male.

Gilbert had muttered a sorry, perhaps he had even cried while doing so. He chose to ignore that part. He remembered how much he had wanted to kiss Oz then. Even though the boy’s protest, he had still leaned closer, which led to them both stumbling. Oz had fallen first on the bed, followed by Gilbert right on top of him.

 _“Oof,_ ” he groaned, but the blond had still laughed once he noted how ridiculous they must have looked. The raven had placed wet and openmouthed kisses on his neck, and Oz had laughed at how much it tickled. He had fumbled with the boy’s clothes, cursing under his breath for how long it took.

And all the while, Oz had laughed and told him to stop in that beautiful teasing voice of his. He had playfully tried to push Gilbert off. Then gave up with an over-dramatic sigh. _“You’re heavy, Gil_.” He had giggled.

When Gilbert had finally managed to unbutton Oz’s shirt, he had cried from bliss. And Oz had laughed. He had gently brushed some hair out of the raven’s face. Gilbert loved how content the younger male had looked at that moment.

And then he started fumbling with the younger male’s pants. Oz even though still laughing, had sounded much more serious when he told him to stop. He had already pulled his pants down before the words fully got through the raven’s head. They hadn’t turned on the heat in their appartement. Oz had headed straight towards the bedroom to put Gil to rest. So when the boy had been stripped off his clothes, with nothing but his boxers on. He had started shivering. Gilbert had watched in drunken awe at how the young male hugged himself to stay warm.

 _“No_ …” he had mumbled. Oz had looked at him in confusion. He had protested loudly when Gilbert grabbed both his wrists. And even though how drunk he had been, he still somehow managed to push Oz’s hands down beside him.

 _“Gil-_ “ he had hissed through gritted teeth, goosebumps appeared on his skin.

 _“Just like when… when…_ ” he had hiccupped, Oz had scrunched his nose when some of Gil’s tears fell on his face, “ _Just like… when I first… kissed you,_ ”

Oz had given him one of his rare looks. It was one Gilbert seldom saw, he had this intelligent look. As if life was a mystery and he was close to solving it. It was the same look Oz had on the day they first met.

Gilbert never liked that look. So he had leaned closer and kissed him. All the while, he kept Oz’s hands pinned to the bed. His grip was too tight; it must have hurt. But Oz never stopped him. He kissed him back, his lips cold but still soft.

Oz had relaxed beneath his touch. His lips moved softly against Gil’s. At first the kiss had been sloppy, terrible really. Oz had patiently guided him. Until the kiss turned into a slow and gentle kiss. One that could last for hours. At some point he had let go of the boy’s wrists. The boy had just a moment to rub over the sore spots before Gilbert decided to return to his old task. He had already done most off it and in his drunk mind, he was set on finishing said task.

“ _Gil-…_ ” Oz had hissed between gritted teeth. The man managed to pull down his boxers in one drunken movement.

He had smiled when Oz tried to cover himself by pulling his legs together. Gilbert had pushed them apart, laughing when the blond told him to stop. _“You’re drunk- ah_!” he inhaled sharply once his lover pressed a wet kiss on his tight. He kept placing kisses there, slowly moving up.

“ _Stop-… you’re drunk, this is dirty-_.” But all the while, he kept moaning. His hands tried to pull him back, tried to distract him. And at first, he listened, he had let Oz’s hands guide him back up, like how he had Oz lead the kiss. And he had kissed him again. A slow and open mouthed kiss, that he knew would leave the young man breathless.

So that he could once again go down, he left a trail of butterfly kisses on Oz’s jaw, all the while he kept going down. His hands already kneading the Vesalius’s thigh.

“ _We should sleep; I’ve got work tomorrow- Ah! GIL!”_ he had shoved the raven angrily away once he placed a kiss on Oz’s, already half-hard one. “ _Stop it!_ ”

And Gilbert had cried and apologized for upsetting Oz, to which the boy had sighed. He once again had to guide his lover to where he wanted him. He placed a gentle kiss on the raven’s forehead and then pulled him close for a hug. “ _Let’s just sleep, we can continue tomorrow._ ”

_“Tomorrow?”_

The blond had hummed, while he gently brushed Gilbert’s hair. He let the man’s head rest on his chest.

They must have fallen asleep that way, the raven noted dryly the next day. His head hurt as if someone had hit him with a bat. Oz was still very much naked, a stark contrast against Gilbert who still wore most of his clothes. The blond had moved away so that he could turn off the alarm.

There hung a heavy silence between them, Gilbert feared that Oz was still angry about what had happened the night before. So he remained quiet, ashamed of his behavior. He knew he should apologize. Knew that he should end this silence first.

It was Oz that spoke first, _it was always Oz_ , “I should get up,” he said, his voice completely void of any emotion.

Gil reached out to him before he could leave the bed, “Stay,” he managed to say.

“I have work,”

“You promised to take today off,”

“And I told you that I couldn’t take _today_ off,” he sounded amused, as if everything that had happened the night before was nothing. And perhaps it was nothing. Perhaps Gilbert was overthinking, again. Oz had after all, laughed until the very end.

The blond then turned around to face his lover, his emerald eyes searching for Gil in the dark. He smiled softly and took a hold of Gil’s wrist, so that he could bring his hand closer to his face. Gilbert wanted to cup his face, but instead felt how the blond placed a warm kiss in the palm of his hand.

“It’s only the morning shift… I’ll be back around noon,” he whispered, Gilbert knew that Oz had to go. He hadn’t drunk any alcohol yesterday because of it, they had left the party early. He knew how much this job meant for Oz, so all he had done was complain, but not once had he asked for Oz to stay.

Until now… that is.

“Then just stay for a bit longer,” he asked softly, his head hurt, he wanted for Oz to stay and nurse him. The thought was selfish, and he would never speak it out loud.

He didn’t have to. Oz shuffled a bit closer, he cupped Gilbert’s head with both hands and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

He hummed, “ _Hmmm_ …. No.” he then laughed and tried to get out of bed as quick as possible. Sadly he had gotten himself all tangled up in the sheets. Gilbert was faster. He wrapped one lazy arm around his waist and pulled him back. Even though his headache, he didn’t mind Oz’s giggling or slight protests.

“How’s the head?”

“Terrible,”

And when Oz wanted to say, _I told you so_ , Gilbert covered his mouth with his own. It wasn’t much of a kiss, if you could even call it that. Their lips just brushed against each other and then Oz pulled away, a lazy smile on his face.

“I really, really, _reaaally_ need to go now,” he said and managed to get himself out of bed. He cursed under his breath when he realized he was still, very much naked, and cast a dirty look over his shoulder at Gil. Who out of guilt, turned his back towards the blond.

He listened to Oz walking around the room, grabbing whatever he needed and then he left. Not once had he turned on the light, which the raven was grateful for.

By the time he finally decided to get out of bed, Oz had already taken a shower and gotten dressed.  He sat on the counter in the kitchen, legs dangling beneath him. While he ate cereal. Usually, Gil would have prepared breakfast for him.

He felt quite guilty. Today was a special day after all. He got a hand through his messy hair and squinted at how bright the light was.

“I made you breakfast,” Oz then offered,

And with breakfast, he meant; ‘I got you a glass of water and a painkiller, also there’s a mug with cereal on your place with a carton of milk next to it. Tadaa~’. It was more then enough for Gilbert. Oz was a terrible cook. It had taken some time before the blond gave up on trying to improve, and for that, Raven was ever grateful. He wasn’t very hungry, though. So simply took the painkiller and sat down.

He lit up a cigarette and ignored the frown on the Vesalius’s face when he did so, after a short silence he asked, “What do you want to eat for dinner?”

To which Oz shrugged in response, “I don’t care… anything you make is good,” he had finished his breakfast and put the now empty mug in the sink next to him. He checked the time by looking at his watch and decided it was time to leave.

“Well then, I’m off,” he said and hopped off the counter, he pecked Gil on the cheek and headed towards the door.

“Oh Oz,” he called after the blond and slowly got up, following him back into the living door.

Oz already had his coat in his hands, he slightly turned his head to meet Gil’s gaze. “Hm?”

“Happy birthday,”

 

* * *

 

 

January 3, 2014 – 10.33am

 

Vincent had put his hair up in a high ponytail. He had unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. One more and Gilbert would have scolded him, _again_. It wasn’t proper etiquette to walk around with a half opened shirt while at work.

“Not that anyone will notice,” his younger sibling had said, he looked tired and irritated. Vincent hated the heat. But he hated the cold even more, that’s why they had chosen a warm destination as their next location.

And also as their last, so it had seemed. Ever since Gilbert turned sixteen, he had been legally announced an adult. Their father had passed away just a month before his birthday. His mother had been unfit to raise them. And thus, the moment he got the official papers in his hands, they had grabbed their stuff and fled. Moving from one country to another.

Now they had run out off money. They had stranded here; on a small island with so little population, it almost looked empty.

But lucky for them, it was the favorite destination of one of the most important people in the world. Zai Vesalius, - _owner of at least four international companies_ \- owned a summerhouse here.

Gilbert had found them a job there. The task was simple, all they needed to do was take care of the house while the master was away. And when Zai did decide visit, they had but only one rule; become invisible.

“Being rich must be nice,” Vincent had noted dryly, “When it gets too cold in their country, they just fly over somewhere warm and celebrate the holidays with sand between their toes while getting drunk on cocktails instead of eggnog.”

Gilbert had tried to hush him. Not wanting to get caught talking badly about their new boss. They had to set up everything for that night’s ball, in honor of Zai’s son, Oz Vesalius’s 18th birthday.

“Yes, brother, _ball_ we didn’t mishear. Rich people still hold _balls_ ,” Vincent had said in a mocking tone, all the while his face remained expressionless. They had been carrying chairs from upstairs to downstairs when Vincent suddenly decided to stop in the middle of the stairs. Which led to Gilbert almost tripping over his own feet, which would have send him and his brother downstairs in a record time. The raven luckily caught his feet, _“_ Vince,” he had hissed,

But Vincent hadn’t even batted an eye at his brother’s tone. Too focused on the large picture hanging above them. An old one of the Vesalius family together.

On it you could see Zai together with his wife. She smiled brightly at the camera while holding her one-year-old daughter. Zai had his hand on his son’s shoulder, barely nine years old, he still stood as straight as his father and had a small reserved smile for the camera.

Vincent said, “Bet you ten bucks they’re both spoiled brats,” while never breaking eye contact with the family portrait.

“Fine. _J-just_ hurry up before someone sees us,” Gilbert had grumbled,

* * *

 

 

21.23pm

 

They finished their work on time, Miss Kate, the household manager had even complimented them. And when it was time for the guests to arrive, Gilbert had to serve drinks and snacks, while Vincent got banned to the kitchens. They both knew the real reason, but feigned ignorance and went on with their jobs.

And so it was there that he met Oz Vesalius. The party had been in name of him, for his coming-of-age. Zai had raised a toast, he had even given a long speech about how proud he was of his son, _If only your mother could see you now_ … bla, bla, bla…. And he just went on and on, all the while, his son had to stand there. There stood a girl next to him. Who kept him amused by whispering in his ear.

At one point, Oz had to cover his mouth in order not to draw too much attention to themselves. He tried to hush her. But the pretty brunette only rolled her eyes and continued. The only thing that distracted her was waiters walking around with food.

 _“No longer a boy, but a man!_ ” Zai went on,

And now Gilbert had gotten close enough to hear what the girl was saying, though it was not the girl who spoke. The strange man had appeared from out of nowhere. He had wrapped one arm around the blond’s shoulder and said, “Old enough to whore his son out for the sake of his company,” when he noticed Gil silently moving through the crowd, offering snacks to the guests, he offered him an eerie smile. One that made shivers run down the raven’s spine.

Oz had looked up then, all jokes aside he said, “Break,” as a manner of greeting, they spoke in hushed voices, “It’s not like that, it’s just marriage,”

“Forgive me my bluntness, young master Oz,” he said the title in a mocking tone, yet there was still a certain fondness in his voice, “But I still think that forced marriages are a bit outdated, don’t you agree?” the albino continued talking before the Vesalius or his friend could protest, “But that might just be me, oh start smiling, seems like his speech is over,” Break raised a cup of wine to his lips and took a sip before he started clapping.

“A toast, for my son,” Zai said and held up his cup,

All the guests in the room raised their cups, and then turned their heads to face said young lord. The Vesalius were of an old and noble household, one of the few that got to keep their title. Gil couldn’t help but think how much the boy fitted in this world.

 _Oz’s world_ , was filled with color and glamour. It was richly shaped and filled with sweet scents of perfume, designer clothes and parties that lasted until early in the morning.

He thanked everyone with a polite smile. And when people asked him if it was true, “Are you two really engaged?” the girl would lean her head cutely on her fiancé’s shoulder and smile politely.

“It’s true, he officially asked her just a few days ago… but between you and me,” the man had an eerie smile on his face while he spoke, “They’ve been engaged since they were kids,” perhaps the story had been meant to sound cute. Just imagining two toddlers promising each other they would marry when they grow up was adorable. But Break managed to tell the story in such a way, that made guests around them feel uncomfortable and soon the people ebbed away.

“You know whenever I hear Zai complain about Oz’s friends, I’m pretty sure he means you,” the girl then said, she looked annoyed. Once people stopped paying attention to them, she dropped the act of cute girlfriend.

“Your words wound me, dear Alice,” Break said matter of fact, his eye scanned over the crowd until it fell on a lovely young woman with long auburn hair. She wore a light blue dress that hugged her small frame beautifully. She had been talking to an old woman in a wheelchair. It was as if she could feel the albino’s gaze on her, for she turned around and met his gaze, a smile appeared on her face.

“If you brats will excuse me; I’ll be returning to my lady’s side now.”

The two watched them go. Gilbert realized that he had been spacing out, he straightened his back and continued his walk around the room. Sadly, he didn’t get much further then two steps.

Alice had noticed him, “You!” she had shouted in a sharp voice, while she pointed an accusing finger at him.

Gilbert froze. He’d sworn that he saw his life flash right before his eyes, and realized it was quite boring, while he said his last goodbye to the world.

Alice looked ready to attack him, right then and there. She stormed towards him, not once letting go of Oz’s hand. So the unfortunate boy got dragged along, much against his will. Gilbert braced himself for the impact.

“What’s all this?” but instead of attacking him, the girl had halted but mere inches from the silver plate he was holding. Her eyes scanning over the delicious looking snacks,

“E-Eh?”

“Is there meat in them?”

“I-I…?”

She didn’t waste any second, whatever image he had created of her scattered into a million pieces. She was nothing like the cute and elegant girl he’d just saw. There were no shy smiles and doe eyes as she looked at Oz, her fiancé. Instead, she looked as if she’d dump Oz right then and there if it meant she could eat the entire plate.

“A- Alice, don’t do that, that’s rude.” Oz said, an awkward smile on his face while he tried to get the plate out of her hand. The brunette only held it out of reach while stuffing her mouth full with the delicious snacks. So the Vesalius sighed and instead turned his head so that he could face Gilbert, “I’m terribly sorry if she’s scared you, she hasn’t eaten much after we landed you see, jetlag and all.”

His eyes had widened in surprise. How was he supposed to respond? “O-o…Oh! I-I… I-It’s no-… no probmel-… -… _uh, problem_ at all, at all…” when Oz raised an eyebrow in amusement he quickly added, “S-sir,” and then bowed his head,

Whatever Oz had wanted to say then, died on his lips. Alice had abruptly handed Gil his plate back, the music had changed and she wanted to dance. So she dragged him to the dance floor. Gilbert couldn’t have been more grateful for her impulsive behavior.

 

* * *

 

03.45am

 

Later that night, he had snuck away from the party. _Just one cigarette_ , he told himself. Realizing but once again just how terrible he was with crowded places. Keeping the house clean had been easy, as a matter of fact, Gilbert had even grown to love the job. But it was an entire different story when their boss decided to throw an unannounced party.

How Gilbert had even managed those last six years was a mystery.

They had always avoided the more crowded areas when traveling, instead they preferred the much smaller villages, quiet and mostly filled with elderly people who didn’t talk much.

He hadn’t seen Vincent when walking through the kitchen. Gil couldn’t help but wonder if his brother had decided to sneak off somewhere as well. Perhaps he had chosen one of the many rooms and decided to take a nap. They had never worked this long. It sounded like such a Vincent thing to do.

Not for the first time since he started working there, did Gilbert realize what a great location this was. Far away from the crowd, their own private beach that seemed to stretch on forever. He breathed in deep. Tonight might be the last time.

They were going to get fired after this night, he was certain of that… that is, if they got caught. _“Well_ … at least we’ve made enough to get off this island.” He muttered softly to himself, his cigarette dangled forgotten between his lips while he started calculating how much money they needed to buy a ticket. Then there was food and water, and… and-

His thoughts got interrupted by the sound of a door opening behind his back. _Oh no, oh no_. Had he been caught? Miss Kate must have noticed his absence and had come to scold him- he frantically looked around, searching for something he could use. At least he could pretend to be busy.

But when he turned around, he saw that it was no one of the staff that came out. This person was dressed too fancy for that,

“A-ah I’m sorry,” he said, “Only staff is permitted to come here,” which was not a lie, only staff was permitted the use the small backdoors. He could still talk himself out of this,

The guest closed the door behind his back, once he did so, Gilbert could get a better view of his face. It was a full moon; Gil also had brought a small candle with him for some light. Eyes widened in horror once he realized he had just told his boss’s son that he couldn’t be here.

All chances of talking himself out of this situation left as soon as they had entered his mind.

Oz had looked up to meet his gaze. Perhaps he recognized Gil, perhaps he simply did not care, for he let out a breath of relief and slumped against the closed door. “Sorry,” he said, “I just needed a break.”

Gilbert almost ate his cigarette, realizing he had been caught red-handed by none other then Oz Vesalius. _Bet you ten bucks they’re both spoiled brats_. Vincent had said. Moments were his brother was wrong, were rare. Gil wished that this was one of those rare moments.

“Don’t worry,” Oz said, as if he could read his thoughts, “I won’t scold you for smoking a cigarette, god knows I need one.” He had joked at that time. Gil had been a fool for not realizing this.

He had fumbled with the package in his hands, “O-Oh, I’m so sorry!” he could have hit himself back then for not thinking of it sooner, “D-do you… do you want one?” he asked, holding out the pack of cigarettes to Oz.

The blond had turned his head slightly, to face him more properly. He seemed to slowly slide down the door, Gilbert wasn’t sure, but suddenly he stood a lot lower. Though the moment the raven offered him a cigarette, Oz stood up straight again. As if he wanted to appear bigger.

“Yes… sure,” he sounded just slightly off, Raven did not put much thought in it. He handed Oz a cigarette, even offered him a light when he sheepishly asked for one.

He felt like he could breathe again when Oz held the cigarette between his hand. He had offered his boss’s son a piece offering, now he could leave and hope the Vesalius wouldn’t tell the tale. That moment of peace only lasted for a second once he saw how Oz was holding his fag. _Oh no-_ the younger male took a drag, completely wrong and…

Started coughing, it was an ugly sound. Almost as ugly as the voice in Gil’s head that screamed ‘ _You’re dead_.’

“Wh-What? I-I thought…. And you! You-…” he became a stuttering mess, panic slowly taking over.

Oz looked at him with a mix of amusement and puzzlement, the coughing had slowed down. He furrowed his brow and took a good look at the cigarette, as if he was wondering to himself; _Was it really that bad?_ and while the answer was; _Yes, yes it was._ He still took another drag.

“NO!” Gilbert had tried to stop him, but ended up empty handed and defeated when Oz held the cigarette out of reach and started laughing again, and then coughing, and then laughing… and then he retched, and Gilbert had to hold him up while he emptied his stomach content in the sand. It was quite a sight.

A poor traveler having to help one of the most important people in the world, after they smoked their first cigarette. He whispered soothing words while he gently stroked Oz’s back. Holding him together. And when Oz was finally done, he offered him a napkin.

Oz breathed out a _thank you_ and let Gil’s strong hands guide him back to the wall so that he could rest. Well at least he had dropped the cigarette, that was something. He sighed.

“Why did you take the cigarette if you’ve never smoked before?” he asked then, obviously upset.

“Because you offered me one,” Oz said it in such a way, he could have as easily just added _obviously_.

“Obviously,” Gilbert snorted, “I quit.” he didn’t care about getting caught anymore. He was dead anyway. Zai could now accuse him of trying to kill his son.

And Oz had laughed, that beautiful carefree laugh that would always sound like music to Gil’s ears, from then on. The blond had grabbed his wrist, “Sorry… don’t go.” He said and coughed again, he quickly covered his mouth with the back of his hand, “You don’t have to quit, it was my own fault after all.”

_Bet you ten bucks they’re both spoiled brats._

“C’mon,” Oz then smiled, “It’s fine, I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”

“What am I, twelve?” Gil snapped, which only made Oz laugh harder.

Oz then sighed and closed his eyes, breathing in deep. The salt air did them both good, “How do you manage it?” he then asked, talking about the cigarettes.

Gil thought back of the old woman that taught him how to smoke. His first time hadn’t been as bad as Oz’s, he had only coughed for a short while, and after a few drags he had gotten the hang of it. “I just do,” he admitted,

Oz groaned, “They’re horrible,” he got a hand through hair and stood up again. Gilbert didn’t know what to do when he saw the younger male remove his shoes and socks,

“Wh… what are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” he asked while rolling his pants up, just above his knees. He removed his jacket and hung it on the doorknob, together with his tie. “I’m going for a walk,” he said as if that was the most obvious answer, it was not.

“Y-you can’t, you’re the guest of honor- wh-what if they’ll notice your absence?”

“It’s four in the morning, I’m sure they’ll excuse my absence at this godforsaken hour.”  

Was it really that late already? It did explain why he was so tired. Perhaps his absence wasn’t that bad.

“Wh-what about the people you were with? At- at the party?”

Oz looked at him, “I don’t know, I lost sight of them at one point…. They probably headed off to bed, knowing Alice, she’s long gone by now.” He chuckled and brushed some bangs out of his face. “Would you like to join me?”

“E-eh?”

Oz even offered him a hand, he had already taken a few steps closer to the ocean, away from the summerhouse, a cold breeze ruffled his clothes. Gilbert caught himself shivering.

“No… I really shouldn’t…” he pointed at the door behind him, “I should really… uh, they’re probably missing me and…I-it would be an honor though!” he quickly added,

Oz laughed in amused bafflement, “ _Honor_?” he asked. When Gil didn’t respond he pleaded, “C’mon, if you’re worried about getting fired-” he raised both arms as an answer, “-I’m your one-way ticket out of that,” he smiled, linking both hands behind his back.

He should have said no, should have refused to leave the safety of the summerhouse. But he was enchanted by this beautiful boy. And so he couldn’t help but nod and take a few steps forward.

“You’re going to have to remove your shoes if you don’t want to get them wet though,” Oz pointed out,

He looked dumbfounded at his new shoes, they had come with the uniform. He hesitated, then looked up and saw how Oz eagerly nodded. So he sighed and removed them as well, he slowly rolled up his pants. There came no tie or jacket with his uniform, just a simple black shirt.

He easily caught up to Oz, and they walked together, away from the summerhouse. While Oz was still heading towards the ocean, he also made sure to put as much distance between them and the party. The island wasn’t very big, was Oz planning on walking around it? _It couldn’t be that small_.

“I’ve never asked your name,” Oz then said, “I’m Oz,” not that he needed to say. Gil would have been if a fool if he had missed his name.

“I-it’s Gilbert,”

“Gilbert…?”

“A-ah no, just Gilbert.” He replied solemnly, they had reached the shore. Gil hesitated, not sure if he wanted to get his feet wet, while Oz didn’t waste a breath and walked closer, until he was ankle deep. They continued walking,

“Well then, _just_ Gilbert.” He hummed, they walked in silence for a while. Gilbert had always been a fan of silence. He sadly couldn’t tell if this was what Oz wanted as well, so he frantically searched for something to talk about, in the end he came up with, “Happy birthday,”

To which Oz had laughed, he shook his head, “My birthday was last week actually, we celebrated it on Christmas.”

“O-oh…”

“This is actually my first birthday party, you know.” He then said, “My birthday is the 26th of December. So I just celebrate it the day before,”

“That sounds unfair,”

Again, Oz had laughed, “How so?”

“Well…” he furrowed his brow, looking down at his sand covered feet, “They’re two different things, they shouldn’t be celebrated on the same day.”

“Hmm… I suppose so,” Oz agreed, “But I don’t really mind, I mean… do I look like the person who minds?” he gestured at the expensive clothing he was wearing, at the summerhouse which was now far behind them. Oz didn’t mean to brag, but he was aware that he had money and didn’t feel like lying about it.

“Tell you a secret,” he then said, at some point they had gotten close enough for Oz to playfully bump his shoulder’s against Gil, his fingers linked together behind his back, “Even my birthday party isn’t actually meant to celebrate my birthday,”

“How so?”

“It’s my engagement party as well,” he said, “I’d show you my ring, but you see… it’s proper etiquette for the guy to give the girl a ring,”

“Shame,” he deadpanned, not sure what to say in this sort of situation.

“Hm, I did get a nice pocketwatch, though.” he confessed and got said object out of the pocket of his pants, it was too dark for Gilbert to properly look at it. But he was sure that it must have cost a lot.

“Aren’t you a bit too young though…” he said quietly, perhaps he had hoped Oz wouldn’t hear. But he did, and nodded.

“It’s true… I actually don’t want to marry for a long time even, I mean… I just started college. Once I’m done I want to travel around the world, I want to see everything.” He had wandered from Gil’s side, hade gotten deeper into the ocean, he was now knee deep. Just a bit further and he’d wet his pants.

They had stopped walking, and instead Oz gazed up at the sky. The island was so far away from the big cities, there were no more lights, only the beach and in the far away distance was a summerhouse and woods. But that was all.

One of the reasons why Gil and Vince had chosen this island, was because of the sky. Of how richly colored it looked in it’s full glory.

 _Beautiful_.

He gazed down at the small boy standing in the middle of it all, “I’ve used to want to become a treasure hunter, you see…” he laughed softly, as if there was some joke that Gil had missed. “And sometimes I still wish I could. Do you ever just want to… run away? From everything?”

 _It’s what I’ve been doing my entire life,_ “Then come with me,” he blurted out. And Oz had turned around to meet his gaze, the wind ruffled his hair. Gilbert wished he could have captured that moment, he had thought the sky was beautiful, but at that moment, Oz had looked absolutely stunning. Oz was made to be surrounded by beautiful things, he realized not for the first time that night. “Me and my brother…” he didn’t know why he was telling him this. It was a stupid idea, _but still_ , he felt the smallest amount of hope, for Oz to just drop everything and come with them, “We-we’ve been traveling around the world for so long now… it’s beautiful really, _breathtaking_ even…” _not as breathtaking as you, right here, right now_ , “So if you want to elope… I’m here to run with you,” it was so cheesy.

He had thought that Oz would laugh again, perhaps even comment on how cheesy that sounded. But instead he offered him a sorrowful smile, “I wish that I could…” he sighed, “God Gil,” _Gil… Gil_ , his name had never sounded so beautiful coming from someone else’s mouth, “It sounds like such a great idea… but I can’t… I can’t just leave everyone behind, I can’t leave my name behind, everything my father worked so hard for…”

He nodded, he couldn’t feel like a bigger idiot.

“For now… this will do,” Oz said softly, gesturing at everything and nothing around them, just the beach and the never-ending sea, at the beautiful stars above them. “We’re eloping, just for tonight,”

He must have noticed Gil’s solemn look, for he said, “Hey Gil, do you want to see something?”

“Hm?”

Oz spread out his arms, and Gilbert realized just a second too late what he wanted to do, “Oh no,” he cursed then, already reaching out towards Oz who let himself fall backwards. He had taken ahold on his shirt, but felt how the blond slipped beneath his fingers. The raven didn’t know what he was doing, just lunged himself forward so that they both fell. Their heads went under water, there was an awful salty taste in his mouth.

When they both sat up, Oz was laughing. Both were soaking wet, but the blond didn’t care.

“Y-You… what- why would you?” Gilbert uttered,

“I don’t know, I just felt like doing that,” he had confessed, then laughed again, “Gil you look silly,”

“I feel ridiculous,” he agreed, but still ended up laughing with him. This whole situation was so weird, and he couldn’t stop laughing. For once he didn’t care about responsibilities or taking care of a younger brother. He was at ease, and realized that Vincent owed him ten bucks now.

 

* * *

 

 

December 26, 2016 – 12.14pm

 

“I’m sorry,” Oz apologized, he still stood behind the cash register, _still_ wearing his ridiculous colorful uniform. After two more painkillers and a little more sleep, Gilbert’s hangover had gotten a lot better. He wanted to surprise Oz by picking him up from work. He had hoped to have lunch together, have the entire noon for themselves until their friends would stop by to visit.

While Gilbert wouldn’t really call it a surprise party. He still had invited all their friends over behind Oz’s back. It would be the first time all of his friends were together on his birthday to celebrate. It was also the first birthday Oz would celebrate at Gilbert’s house, ever since he moved in. He had wanted to make it something special.

A month had passed since Oz’s last…- _they were fine_. Things were finally going well. More reason to celebrate.

But there he stood, they were lucky no one had entered after him, so it wasn’t like he was holding the line. Oz looked as guilty as he must have felt, “Two of my colleagues fell sick,” _Sick? Or just hangover?_ He bit his tongue, “So my boss asked if I could close up. It’s actually the first time I get to close the store, quite exciting.”

For someone like Oz, who had never worked before, it probably was. Gilbert had closed so many stores, he also used to have so many jobs, it really meant nothing.

“What time do you close up?”

“Five,”

He sighed, how was he going to solve this? Their friends had promised to be there at four, Gilbert would make dinner for them all and they could catch up. Not that there was much to catch up, since they had all seen each other the day before on Christmas. Sharon loved holding Christmas’s parties, and ever since her mother passed away, she loved to invite even more friends over. She hated empty chairs the most.

“Is there a problem?” Oz asked confused,

“No… not really, I still haven’t figured out what to make for dinner,” that at least was true, he still had to buy everything for tonight’s dinner.

“Well in that case…” Oz said, “How about pasta? We haven’t eaten that in a while,”

“Pasta?”

“Yeah the one you made a while ago,” he waited a bit, two guests had gotten up and were cleaning their tables, all the while Oz followed them with his eyes, so that when they finally left he could offer them a kind smile and a _thank you for visiting_ , it was one of the first things he had mentioned after his first day. How confusing it was to keep an eye on every customer that was leaving their shop, so that he could politely say goodbye.

The two girls giggled nervously and then left, both were blushing and Gilbert couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous. Even when Oz was wearing a ridiculous uniform, he could still make other’s blush. Once they were gone, the blond returned his attention back to Gilbert, “With chicken and broccoli… it tasted good, I like it.”

“With the spices?”

Oz nodded, and Gilbert thought about it. It was true, it had been a while since they last ate any pasta. Winters in Sablier were cold. So Gilbert preferred potatoes and soup then. Oz never complained, he loved everything Gil made. Except for pineapples. If Gil put even the smallest amount of pineapple in his food, he’d refuse to eat it. Yet the raven couldn’t help but wonder if Oz had gotten tired of potatoes and soup.

The bell rung, and Gilbert took a step aside for the new customer. Oz greeted them with a smile, “Good day, sir. How can I help you?”

Gilbert saw the way the man looked at Oz and felt slightly uneasy. The Vesalius was the only one working today. Could Oz really manage alone?

“A latte please,” the man said, he was curt and even came off as rude. When he turned his head to face Gil, he scrunched his nose in disgust and focused his gaze on Oz’s back instead. Watching him prepare his coffee.

He had gotten better. Gil noted. At first, Oz had kept messing up his orders. He had been lucky to have such patient colleagues. He had the man’s coffee in less then a minute, “Will that be all, sir?” he asked,

The man looked at the cakes and other sweet snacks in the display. Then back at Oz’s face. Gilbert hated the way he looked at the blond, as if he recognized him and-… _oh no_. He felt his heart miss a beat and held his breath. But the man didn’t say anything, simply nodded.

“That’ll be 1,50 please.”

He waited until the man was gone before he felt like breathing again.

“That man works for my father’s clothing company,”

“Do you think…?”

“Yeah,” Oz sighed, “He recognized me,”

Gilbert feared for what was to come… yet, it never came. Oz just smiled, “Well it’s not like he can say much, father disowned me. He no longer needs to be polite to me, he won’t gain anything out of it.”

“Did he know?”

“What? That I’m no longer allowed to call myself a Vesalius?” he said it matter-of-factly, like it really didn’t mean that much. And perhaps it didn’t… Gil didn’t know. All he knew was that not so long ago, the name Vesalius had still meant everything to Oz.

“No… not that.” He sighed,

To which Oz smiled, “I’m sorry sir, if you’re not going to buy anything, I’d like to kindly ask you to leave.” He was obviously joking. It was his way of trying to change the subject. He failed miserably.

The raven rolled his eyes, “No seriously,”

To which Oz shrugged, they were now the only ones in the shop. All of his smaller jobs were done. Oz was holding up pretty well. He had gotten much more independent Gil realized. So he guessed that the blond must appreciate his presence. He now had at least some distraction.

“I don’t know really,” he then said and looked over Gil’s shoulder at a group of friends walking past the store, they had stopped in front of the door for a second. But then decided to just keep walking, when they were out of sight Oz fixed his gaze back on the raven, “My father could have told his staff anything really,” and there was that familiar sad undertone again. He knew how hard Oz tried to be strong. But it was moments like this that made the walls around him crumble. “But it’s fine, I’m fine.” He took a deep breath and smiled,

Gilbert smiled back, albeit a bit unsure, “Really? ‘Cuz you’re working on your birthday.”

“I’m also gonna get paid, for working on my birthday.”

“Only at the end of this month,”

Oz shrugged, “True, but at least that’s something to look forward to.”

He nodded in agreement.

He stayed for a bit longer, during his stay he had already bought two coffees and drank them. Still, Oz didn’t protest when he asked for one on the go. Gilbert paid for his drinks and promised that he’d make the pasta.

“I’ll look forward to it,” the blond said while leaning on the counter, “Thank you and come again!” he said, and Gilbert laughed while he left the shop. He hated that he had to leave Oz behind, but it was only for a bit longer… he could live with that. He still had enough time to go to the supermarket and head home. Surely he could keep the guests occupied until Oz’s arrival.

 

* * *

 

 

December 25, 2015 - 23.24pm

 

Silence.

“ _I love you,_ ”

Those words were the reason that caused this silence. He had laid out all of his cards. Had left his heart bare for the world to show. It wasn’t like Gilbert at all to show so much emotion. It used to be something from the past. The moment he and Vincent had run from their abusive mother, he had decided to become more cold. He put a certain distance between him and the people around him. Only Vincent had been allowed to see his true colors.  

And yet… there he stood. He had broken all of his personal rules thanks to Oz. How the boy managed to do it, remained a mystery. Oz had broken down all of his walls, brick by brick. And Gilbert had no strength left to rebuild them.

He fell in love with the Vesalius. It had taken him a while to realize this, and another few months for him to confess. But finally the moment had arrived. If anyone would ask, Gil would blame Oz’s busy life. Somehow, catching the boy alone proved to be more difficult then traveling around the world with only a small amount money.

The silence became unbearable. All the while, he had looked down at the ground, covered in a thick layer of snow. Gilbert finally gathered enough courage to look up and meet Oz’s gaze.

The young male looked surprised, to say the least. While it felt like an eternity had just passed. In reality it was but only ten seconds.

Ten seconds that Oz had needed to let the words get through him. The moment the Vesalius met Gil’s gaze, he broke eye contact and looked elsewhere. He then took a deep breath.

Gilbert knew it was over then. Just six months ago, they had reunited. And now he already had to say goodbye again. The Raven knew he was a fool to believe that things could return to that one starry night. When they had both walked alongside each other on the beach. Oz had opened up to him, thinking that was going to be last time they’d ever see each other.

At least that’s what he thought… after six months of hanging out with the Vesalius. He learned that there was much more. Oz was a walking mystery. Better at shielding himself then Gil ever could.

He didn’t want to say goodbye.

Even if Oz could not return his feelings. Gil still hoped that he wouldn’t ask him to leave. He braced himself for what was to come.

“…. When Alice and I-… when we were sixteen or… I think, that we- _uh…_ at least, I think we were sixteen,” he started sheepishly, “We uh-… _kissed_ -” Oh _._ “-B…because everyone around us was dating… y’know? And…. A-and we just, I don’t know,” he sighed and scratched the back of his head. Even though there wasn’t much light in the center of the maze from the Vesalius garden, Gil could see that the blond’s lips had turned blue. They should go inside. So that Oz could warm up by the fire. They could both pretend as if this conversation had never happened.

Gilbert didn’t need to torment himself. He shouldn’t have to listen to Oz trying to explain to him why he couldn’t love him. Because that is such an Oz thing to do. Break had once said, “ _It’s as clear as water, that Oz has faced the most horrible rejection humanly possible in his life. Everything about the way he talks to the way he carries himself says ‘never good enough’. It’s sad, but also what makes Oz, Oz.”_

Oz could never reject someone without trying to lessen the pain. He’d try to talk himself out of it. So that the person in question, getting rejected, would still feel good about themselves.

_Yet a rejection was still a rejection._

Gilbert was a fool to believe there could have been any other outcome. Oz was engaged with his childhood friend. While the engagement was still, _in a way,_ forced. It was still very obvious that he and Alice cared deeply about each other.

“And-… it was Alice’s idea, actually-…” Oz continued then, oblivious to what Gil was thinking. He groaned and covered his face with both hands and took another deep breath, “Wh…what I’m trying to say is… that was my first kiss… a-and it was also _… my only_ kiss,” he was blushing.

Gil wondered for the first time, where exactly Oz was going.

“It’s a bit awkward… I know, since I’m turning 19 tomorrow…” he laughed softly, “B-but… uh, I guess… sure? I-I like you too…”

_What?_

“And… if you want to… uhm, try to… _uh_?” he made a few loose gestures, all the while he refused to make eye contact. He seemed quite content by just looking at the buttons on Gil’s jacket while he spoke, “I-I’d be willing to try… but just, uh… know that I don’t have a lot of experience.” He sighed, seeming somewhat relieved now that he got that off his chest.

“Y-you mean that?” Gilbert finally dared to open his mouth, he felt how his heart skipped a beat when Oz looked up and their eyes met again. The blond nervously bit his lip and nodded.

And when Gilbert smiled, he smiled back. A beautiful smile filled with happiness. And so, Gil did what he had wanted to do for a very long time now. He cupped Oz’s cheeks with both hands and leaned down to pull him into a kiss.

Oz hadn’t lied. He barely dared to move at first, his hands hovered awkwardly between them, at one point he had almost let them rest on Gil’s chest, only for him to pull them back. When he kissed back, his lips moved slow and mostly just followed Gil’s lead. It was a bit messy, a bit awkward even, teeth clacked together and so they had to pull back.

With Oz shyly looking up to meet his gaze. He winced softly, “I-I’m sorry… I’m a terrible kisser,”

Yes, he wasn’t a very great kisser. Neither was that a good first kiss. In Gil’s fantasies, everything had been perfect. Their had been no awkwardness. Both knew what they had to do. But this was reality. Just a hundred meters away there was still a party going on. And it turned out, that Oz wasn’t as smooth as he liked people to believe.

Gilbert smiled.

Because this Oz was real, and trying. He did his best, and that was all Gil ever wanted.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, their breaths came out as small puffy clouds, and he saw the way Oz leaned into his touch. Trying to absorb as much warmth as possible, he was trembling from the cold. “Just…” he smiled when he looked into the Vesalius’s green eyes, so hopeful and full of wonder, “Do what I do?” he laughed sheepishly.

And Oz breathed out a laugh, he nodded. Then closed his eyes when Gilbert kissed him again. And when Gil pulled him closer, Oz’s hands finally rested on his chest. There he clung onto his thick jacket while Gilbert kissed him gently. Testing the waters and giving the blond enough time to get used to it.

Their lips moved slowly against each other. By the time they broke the kiss, they were both slightly out of breath.

“Much better,” he said, because he felt like he needed to say something. He would have expected for Oz to make a joke now. For him to act all cool, as if this was nothing. But it was… this was everything for him. And for once, the Vesalius didn’t feel like pretending. He nodded, his eyes fluttered shut when Gil placed soft butterfly kisses on his face.

He tried to soothe him, knowing that by now it wasn’t just the cold that made Oz’s knee buckle. He let his hand slip down, down his jaw. He gently caressed his neck, down his collarbone. Oz sighed softly when Gil’s hand slid over his clothed chest and then slipped under his open jacket. So that Gilbert could place it on his back, dangerously close to his hip. Now he had a much stronger grip on the younger male, in case his legs decided to give up.

He placed a soft kiss on Oz’s earlobe. He loved how easily the blond gave in, how he turned his head more to the right to make it easier for Gil’s lips to follow the same trail as his hand.

Oz placed his own hand on the raven’s cheek and gently guided his lips back to his,

“Kiss me?” Oz asked softly,

 _Gladly_ , he thought.

This time, the kiss was bolder. He dared to deepen it, Oz had placed his hands in Gil’s hair and softly tugged the raven’s locks. His touch soothing and arousing at the same time. Everything he did was over-calculated. He first tested the waters before fully relaxing.

Gilbert couldn’t help himself.

He was madly in love.

And Oz was just so willing. So easy to obey.

 It was too cold.

Yet his hands still found their their way under Oz’s three layered outfit. Skin against skin. He felt how the blond’s skin slowly became warmer beneath his touch.

When Oz moaned, it was like music to his ears.

The kiss became messier, though easier for Oz to follow. He had managed to get them both closer to a wall before becoming bolder. In case the Vesalius got a bit too overwhelmed. He knew that they shouldn’t be doing this. Their friends were probably looking for them by now. Break and the others would surely notice what they’ve been up to and-

 _“Ah!- ngh…_ Gil… Gil…” Oz panted in his hear when he started placing wet openmouthed kisses on his jaw and neck. Meanwhile his left hand had slipped a bit more down and gently cupped the Vesalius’s crotch.

Oz had to wrap both arms around the raven to keep himself up, his head turned to one side so that Gilbert could more easily kiss down to his collarbone. Leaving a mark right under the collar of his shirt.

He palmed Oz’s through his pants, and loved every sound the boy made. His breathing became more erratic. And being the virgin he was, Gil knew it wouldn’t take long. _He wanted more_ -… more….

“We shouldn’t-… _o-oh! S-someone could-…”_ at one point he even whispered for him to stop, he had been so close to doing so until he gave the boy another squeeze down there and he moaned softly again. By then, Oz was such a blubbering mess that Gil couldn’t quite make out what he wanted.

 _“S-stop! Oh… no-_ D-don’t’ st-…op. ngh, Gil.” All the while he kept chanting his name, like a lullaby. Over and over again.

Gil kissed him when he reached his orgasm. He felt how the blond trembled beneath his touch, how his body went slack for a second and he had to keep him with both hands in order not to fall.

By the time Oz had fully come back to his senses, he was still out of breath. His lips were swollen and his pupils were wide. His hair was a mess as were his clothes. And Gilbert knew that now he had a sticky problem down there.

He had gotten carried away and got punched for it in return.

“Damnit, Gil!” Oz had tried to get angry at him, god how he tried. He failed miserably though, knowing full well that at one point he hadn’t been giving very clear signs anymore. He also had enjoyed Gil getting carried away a bit too much.

But now that moment was over, and they realized they were still standing in the cold, in the middle of a maze. And _anyone_ could have walked in.

No one did… “But still!” Oz had hissed between gritted teeth. He had shut up the moment Gil brushed a snowflake out of his bangs. Had asked for another kiss before they’d return because now it seemed to be even more colder.

“Of course,”

 

* * *

 

 

 23 June, 2016 – 22.14pm

 

Gilbert came home late that night, only to find Oz sitting in front of his door. He used as little space as possible while tapping bored on his phone. The moment he noticed Gil had finally arrived, he looked up with a bright smile.

“I just got my results,” he said,

Gil had halted. There were so many questions rushing through his head. Ever since they started dating, they told each other to keep it a secret. Oz most of the times had to refuse going to his apartment, afraid that someone might recognize him.  

There were so many things that kept them separated. Oz being the heir of the Vesalius heirloom, being one of them. Officially, he was still engaged to Alice, he wasn’t allowed to talk to people way below him- the blond lived by so many rules, it was hard to keep up with them. All Gilbert really bothered to remember was that Oz could lose everything if he went against Zai’s wishes.

So seeing Oz _here_ , just casually waiting outside, for the whole world to see… Gil didn’t know what to think.

“Of your exams?” he finally asked,

To which Oz nodded. He stood up and dusted himself off. He wore a simple outfit, nothing too fancy. You’d almost think he was just one of many faces in the crowd. Wearing only a simple white shirt, beige shorts and a worn out pair of brown sneakers.

“Yes, I’m in the top three,”

Gilbert nodded slowly. He furrowed his brow and then turned his attention to his door. He unlocked it so that Oz could enter. “Did anyone see you?”

“Some people from upstairs,” the blond shrugged carelessly. He slowly wandered around the room, as if he belonged there. In this plain old apartment that held no luxuries. “They didn’t pay much attention to me,” Oz then continued, “Though some old lady did give me cake once she noticed how long I’ve waited,”

“And how long was that?”

He turned around, a carefree smile on his face. Gilbert wanted to close the distance between them. He wanted to grab Oz’s by his shoulders and scream at him that he was being reckless. _What if he got caught?_ He couldn’t be the one responsible for Oz losing everything. He knew he sounded like a hypocrite. His lover would always be in danger, as long as Gil decided to stay in this relationship. He had often thought of ending things between them. It would be for the best.

Yet, he couldn’t. Gilbert was far too selfish.

“Oz,” he said then, too tired to start a fight. His new job was horrible. Everyday Gil found himself counting down the time. He had excepted to come home to an empty apartment. He probably would have to order take-out, being to tired to cook. Perhaps he’d read a book before he’d head to bed. Perhaps Oz would have send him a text and they’d end up texting until late.

Never would he have expected for Oz to show up at his apartment.

“Y-you can’t just… what if-… what if someone _did_ recognize you?”  

Oz gazed at him with a blank expression, his silence encouraged Gil to go on.

“Th-this is too dangerous. If you wanted to meet up I could have gone to Sharon-“

“But I wanted to see you,” Oz said, as if it was the most obvious thing ever. They hadn’t seen each other since the beginning of June. And even before that, they rarely got to spend any time alone together, Oz was almost always surrounded by people. Gil could count the times they had been alone together on one hand.

They were lucky that their friends were trustworthy and allowed Gil and Oz to meet up in their presence. Not a day passed wherein Gilbert did not miss that one starry night at the beach. Where they could  just be themselves.

“L-like I said, we could have gone to Sharon or… or Alice’s, but _this._ You showing up at my place and waiting for god knows how long…”

“But I wanted to see you, _now_.”

And Gilbert sighed, not sure what else he could say. Oz had a small smile on his face, as if this whole situation was just one big joke. And Gil wanted to get mad, he really did… but he couldn’t. Instead he let his back rest against the door, he made sure to lock it. Not ready to risk anyone showing up uninvited and seeing the Vesalius here.

The moment he did so, it was Oz that closed the gap between them. It only took him four big steps. He cupped Gil’s cheeks in both hands and gazed in his eyes. He looked puzzled, as if he had trouble with understanding what was going on in the Raven’s head.

While at that moment, it should have been more then obvious what was on the raven’s mind.

Gilbert noted that he had grown,

And then Oz stood on his toes and kissed him.

Gilbert _also_ noted that he had become a much better kisser. There was no clumsiness anymore or hesitation. Oz’s arms easily found their ways around his neck to pull him closer. Pushing his body against Raven’s while he deepened the kiss.

He should have pushed him away; they should have talked about Oz’s carelessness.

Instead, he placed his hands on the blond’s hips.

And when they finally broke apart, it was because Gilbert asked if he’d already eaten. The Vesalius had to admit that he had been waiting for more then five hours, so no, he hadn’t. Even when Gilbert ordered the food, did he not dare let go of Oz. Scared that if he did, Oz might gather his stuff and leave. So he kept him close, his hand gently stroked the blond’s jaw. He watched with awe at Oz, who leaned into the touch. His eyes content.  

Gilbert hung up and kissed him again.

He was madly in love with this beautiful boy. And couldn’t help himself, neither did Oz stop him. There was no more awkwardness between them, they had kissed each other so many times, usually those kisses led to nowhere. Knowing that their friends were never too far away.

This was the first time in a long time that Gilbert could touch him, without having to worry about anyone walking in. So he took his time with everything.

Oz let out a content sigh. He raised both arms when Gilbert removed his shirt, easily let the man guide him towards the sofa. There was a certain type of patience around him, that the raven rarely got to see, he thought while he crawled on top of the boy. He moved his mouth away from Oz’s, a smirk appeared on his face when Oz gasped softly.

Every caress was slow, hands gently caressed Oz’s torso. Gil easily slipped his hand beneath Oz’s loose shorts, so that he could massage the sensitive skin down there. He felt how Oz’s eyes never left his face. His breathing coming out slightly faster then before, he arched into Gil’s touch, yet never told the man to hurry up and get on with it.

Gilbert kissed him again.

“I love you,” he whispered against Oz’s kiss swollen lips,

And Oz responded by pushing him off, just hard enough for Gil to get the hint and sit up straight again, he let the younger male crawl on top of him. Let Oz control the kiss, his smaller hands guided Gil’s to where he wanted them.

Gilbert was never a good listener when it came to this, his hands easily found Oz’s crotch. The Vesalius was panting in his ears, his hip bucked into the man’s touch. He placed slow and wet kisses down the man’s neck, while Gilbert pulled down his shorts. He felt how Oz’s hands fumbled with the tie he was wearing, when he managed to remove that one, he started to unbutton the raven’s shirt. His eyes seemed to light up, even in the dark as he tried to keep himself concentrated enough to help Gil out of his shirt.

He failed miserably when Gilbert’s hand slid beneath his boxers. He began to have trouble with keeping himself up. Each breath coming out faster then the other one.

Gil’s hand got sticky with precome.

Oz kissed him, wet and open mouthed. His eyes shut tightly, he had to take a break every two seconds to gasp. By the time he was close to reaching his orgasm, he failed even more at pleasuring the raven.

Gilbert didn’t mind. He loved pleasuring Oz like this, loved how easily Oz lost control. It was one of the few times where the younger male couldn’t keep a straight face. There were no masks, no façade he had to keep up. All logic left, and the Vesalius would become a trembling mess.

When Oz reached his orgasm, he became completely slack afterwards. He curled up against Gil. His head rested on the raven’s shoulder. While Gilbert hugged the boy close to his body, his hand rested on his back.

“It’s always like this…” the blond whispered after a short silence,

He hummed, placing a kiss on Oz’s head,

“Doesn’t it bother you?”

“What?”

Oz huffed, “That I’m the one receiving and never giving,” he sat up a bit straighter, ready to add something else if it wasn’t for the bell ringing from downstairs. For a second, Oz appeared lost. As if he wondered who could possibly want to visit Gil at this hour, before his eyes widened a bit, “Oh, noodles!” he then looked down at the state the raven was in.

Gilbert was fully aware of what he looked like, he rolled his eyes when Oz started to laugh.

The bell rang again. Gilbert didn’t even hesitate, he just pushed Oz off. His fall wasn’t painful, but still shut him up long enough for Gil to push the button of the intercom, telling the delivery guy he could come up, “Number 46,”  

He quickly buttoned his shirt again and got a hand through his hair, then looked at the boy of his affection. Oz had gotten himself up. His back turned towards the raven as he put his shirt back on. As soon as Gil laid his eyes on him, Oz turned around. As if he could sense it. He grinned at him,

“Honestly…” he sighed,

Someone knocked on his door. He turned his back to Oz and opened the door,

There stood a young girl, she looked down at the bill in her hands, “Delivery for Sir Gilbert Raven, one chicken noodle with curry and one chicken noodle with peanuts sauce,” she then looked up, her eyes widened, “Jesus Christ you’re hot!”

Gilbert froze,

Oz burst out in laughter,

The girl’s whole face turned red as soon she realized she had _really_ just said that out loud. There hung a heavy silence between then then, Gilbert did not know how to respond while the girl was too embarrassed to say anything.

The girl was as surprised as Gil when Oz’s head popped up from behind the door. He paid for the food and told her to keep the change. He slowly closed the door.

“Well Gil, I must say…”

“Don’t-“

“I am getting slightly jealous,” he laughed already walking back to the sofa,

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting down,”

“With the food? No, no we’re eating that in the kitchen,”

Oz never broke eye contact, he slowly sat down. And Gilbert sighed, still he sat down on the sofa and muttered a thank you when Oz handed him his box. He watched as Oz fumbled a bit with his chopsticks. Laughed when the blond gave up after five minutes of trying to eat and failing. Instead he headed to the kitchen to get himself a fork.

“How come you’re not celebrating with Alice and the others?” he asked,

Oz sat down in front of him, “I did, we went out for drinks right after I found out. I left early because I wanted to celebrate with you as well,”

Gilbert looked up, “I have some beer in the fridge,” he offered,

To which Oz laughed, “Why didn’t you say so sooner!” and he quickly got up again,

 

* * *

 

 

13 August, 2016 – 13.13pm

 

“This isn’t going to work,” he said and took another drag from his cigarette. Anything was better then to look at Oz, who had remained silent the whole time. He looked so small, sitting at the kitchen table. His head hung low.

There hung a heavy silence between them,

One that Oz broke after more then three minutes, “Is it… my fault?” he asked. Gilbert couldn’t feel any guiltier. He felt like trash. There he stood, on a rainy summer day. Breaking up with the boy he loved.

But this couldn’t go on for much longer. Even Sharon, who had marveled at their secret relationship, had looked at him with sympathy when she caught the sad look on his face. It really couldn’t be any different. He had wanted to steal a quick kiss from Oz when walking past him at the Rainsworth house. He hadn’t known that Zai was around. Gilbert didn’t blame Oz for pushing him away

And while he did not blame him, at that moment, Gil did realize something. _This_ , their relationship, whatever it was… it wasn’t going to work. Zai had just announced the date of Oz’s wedding.

Sure Alice had been okay with Oz and Gilbert dating, but that wouldn’t last when they were married, right? Nothing made sense. How could Alice even be okay with this in the first place?

He couldn’t make Oz choose, he didn’t want to for Oz to sacrifice everything, just for Gil. So this was for the best, he thought.

“I-it’s not. It’s me… actually,” he said,

And Oz snorted,

“Oz…” he sighed,

“Is it because of last week?” he got up, “Because I pushed you away and ignored you? I’m sorry… I really am, I tried to talk to you… I really did-” he took a step closer. But stopped the moment Gilbert held up his hand. He didn’t know what he looked like, just knew that he felt utterly miserable. If Oz took any step closer, he might just crumble.

“I know…” he saw the look on Oz’s face back then, he saw how devastated the Vesalius looked. “I… It’s me, it really is…” he sighed and got a hand through his hair, “I… I can’t do this anymore,”

Oz had reached out to him, yet once again, had to stop when Gil raised his hand. Asking him to stop, “Please don’t-“

And Oz bit his lip, not sure what to do.

“…Wh-what is it exactly is it that you can’t…?”

“ _This_ …” he gestured at them both, “I don’t think I can hide much longer… and I don’t want for you to sacrifice everything,”

“Gil… Gil please,” he took a deep breath, “Please look at me,”

And he did, a horrible decision, really. He wanted to take everything back, Break’s voice rung through his head, _“Oz faced the worst sort of rejection you can imagine,”_ this must have been the first time the blond had truly believed that things would be different. He saw the pain in his eyes and wished for nothing more but to comfort him.

“I-… surely we can work this out? I… I mean… we could look for a solution- I could talk to my father, we can-“

“No!” he snapped then,

Oz flinched,

 _Oz flinched_ ,

His eyes wide. His lip was trembling as he looked around the kitchen, not sure of what to say. He tried to act strong, but Gil saw how his walls were slowly crumbling.

He felt the worst. He had let Oz believe that things would be different, he would never turn his back towards him. He had promised him forever while truth was they hadn’t even been close to reaching their first year anniversary.

“I don’t want you to do that,” Gilbert said. Oz had never told him the truth; he’d shy away the moment anyone tried to bring up his father. Gilbert had to figure everything out along the way, and even now he wasn’t sure. From what he had gathered, he came to understand that Oz had fought long and hard for his father’s approval. Scared that if he’d fail to keep this façade up, _being the perfect son_ , he’d lose his father’s approval once again.

“Oz… _this_ … this was nice, but surely you’ve come to understand that it couldn’t last forever.” Oz was smart. Surely he’d understand.

“So that’s it?” the Vesalius asked, “What do we do from now on?”

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t know…” Oz nodded, “Can we… still… I mean…?”

He didn’t know. Could he really still be friends with Oz? Wouldn’t it be better if he just left? After all, running away was the only thing Gil was really good at. He could pretend that he’d never run into Oz when visiting his home country. He had never decided to stay and the past year was just a dream.

Surely he could find Vincent. His brother would drop everything and follow him to the end of the world. They could act as if nothing had changed.

“Gil… I don’t want that,”

Neither did he,

“Perhaps you should… go,” he wanted to throw up,

Oz looked even more broken after hearing those words. Gilbert excepted for him to get mad, for Oz to start yelling and shouting at him. Demanding answers. Or he could have at least cried… instead, the blond took a deep breath and nodded. “Fine,” he said, “I-I’ll go…” this time, he did reach out to the raven. He grabbed his shirt and looked down, “I-I’m sorry… though, i-if I ever upset you, I’m sorry… I really am,”

And so he straightened his back, offered Gil a small smile and left.

 

* * *

 

December 26, 2016 – 18.48pm

 

Oz was late. The people inside their small apartment were growing impatient. Though some could still find humor in the whole situation.

Because, “Let’s face it, Gilbert. It would have been better if you actually told Oz we were going to visit,” Break said while he asked for a second plate.

It was almost seven pm. Alice had been hungry and kept complaining, in the end he decided to just serve dinner. If anyone asked why he didn’t eat, he’d say that he was waiting for Oz. They always ate together; he didn’t want to break that small tradition.

“But then it wouldn’t have been a surprise party anymore, would it?” Sharon said, “This is the first time we’re actually celebrating Oz’s birthday on his actual birthday. It’s only normal that Gilbert would want to surprise him,”

He got saved by none other then Oz himself, who called him on his cellphone.

“Hey,” he smiled, out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Alice gag and Elliot laugh,

“Hi Gil! Sorry I’m late,” Oz said, he had been walking, “I’m heading to the bus stop now,”

“I-it’s no problem, really…”

“Yeah I still feel guilty, though,” Oz sighed, “You still haven’t eaten right?”

“A-ah… I did eat something small earlier,”

And Oz laughed, “No you didn’t, I know you… I’m sorry, Gil. I’ll be there in half an hour or so…”

“That’s alright, I’ll start preparing the food then,”

“Liar,” Break whispered in his ear,

Sharon glared at the albino,

“Great!” Oz said, “Oh and Alice asked to meet up tomorrow,”

To which Gilbert glared at said girl, she was still holding her phone. The moment she caught his eye, she smirked, “Did she?”

“Yeah… So do you want to go?”

“Sure,” _anything_.

He hung up, and told the people in the room that Oz would arrive in about half an hour. If the weather didn’t get any worse, to which they all cheered.

He glanced at the pile of presents and sighed, hoping that Oz would arrive soon.

 

* * *

 

 

October 23, 2016 – 15.34pm

 

_I chose you_

There stood a huge pile of boxes in Gil’s bedroom. Every time he walked past them, he’d stop. Gilbert hated looking at them. Everything in those boxes, belonged to Oz.

Oz had ignored them the moment miss Kate brought them. She had apologized for not being able to bring everything with her. “ _Master Zai would have noticed if I took everything_ ,”

Even then, the blond had looked at those boxes as if they didn’t belong.

“ _It’s more then enough_ ,”

And miss Kate had looked at Gilbert. She had straightened her back once she recognized him. She had glanced at her master. Just like Gil, she had never seen him this upset. And it must have broken her heart. “ _Sir Raven_ ,” she had greeted him then, still remembering his name. And Gilbert had offered her a small smile, “ _Miss Kate_ ,”

“ _Please take care of him from now-… a-and if something happens, please… feel free to call me_ ,”

She had hugged Oz, as if he were her own child. Had stroked his bangs out of his face and cried for him, placing a quick kiss on his forehead. As if he was still five and not nineteen.

 _Nineteen_.

Too young to go through any of this.

Gilbert sighed. He looked at Oz, who sat on the ground. Papers scattered around everywhere. He seemed lost in his studies. Yet the moment Gil laid eyes on him, he turned his head slightly. Their eyes met.

But no words came, the blond simply turned his gaze back to the book he was reading. No jokes, no laughter… nothing. One could simply blame it on the stress for his upcoming exam. Now that Oz had to keep his grades high to keep his scholarship, it was only normal for him to be more then just a little stressed.

But it wasn’t like that at all, Gilbert knew that. He was no fool. Oz hadn’t been himself ever since he showed up at his doorstop in august. Asking for his help. “ _Just one night_ ,” Gilbert had refused to let him go if he had no place to stay. In September, he told the blond that this was now Oz’s home as well. That he didn’t want for the Vesalius to go.

And in the beginning of October, Oz read in the newspaper that he was officially disowned from the Vesalius heirloom. That it was a miracle he was still allowed to call himself a Vesalius in the first place.

 _“Take my name_ ,” he had said, had all but pleaded for him to take it.

And Oz had shaken his head, reading the article with a calm expression. He did not tremble. He did not cry, just continued reading as if the article wasn’t about him. _“I’m fine_ ,” he eventually said.

And Gilbert liked to believe that. He wanted to do nothing more but to believe.

“Should we start unpacking?” he asked after a long silence. The raven leaned against the doorframe, ready to get up if Oz told him, _yes_ , perhaps now it’s time to start unpacking. They could finally give all of his belongings a rightful place.

Oz looked up. He appeared to be confused for a second, not sure what the raven was talking about. When he finally remembered, his eyes widened just the slightest bit and he said, “…No,” then tried to return to his books, he was probably planning on ignoring those boxes for a very long time.

“Oz…” Gilbert sighed, “What do you want me to do with them?”

“Nothing, I’ll take care of them.”

“You’ve been saying that since September,”

And Oz tensed up, he refused to turn around this time. So Gilbert walked towards him, he made sure not to step on anything as he sat down next to the blond. Oz grimaced.

“If you’re worried about space, I told you that’s not a problem…” he wanted to stop talking, just seeing how troubled Oz looked made him feel ten times worse. He had never wanted for this to happen.

 _None of this is your fault_ , Sharon had told him. Oz had chosen this path for himself. He just needed some time to adapt, that was all. He knew that the Vesalius wasn’t worried about space, that was a lie.

“Oz… I won’t… I won’t tell you to leave. I already told you… this is your home now as well, you can stay. I-I… I’d love for you to stay even, so…”

Oz kissed him,

It surprised him.

Ever since they got back together, they rarely kissed. Oz was often too distracted, too wrapped up in whatever what was going on in his head. And it was with sorrow that the raven realized why the blond kissed him now.

 _Shut-up,_ he whispered between every kiss. Every time their lips parted, he’d softly beg for Gilbert to stop talking. There was so much sadness in the kiss. The blond’s hands were trembling, and he clung to Gil as if he was the only thing that kept him sane. And perhaps he was. The raven couldn’t be sure.

“Oz…” he sighed,

Oz looked so heartbroken.

_Faced the worst sort of rejection-_

“I’m sorry…” Gilbert whispered,

 

* * *

 

 

December 26, 2016 – 21.25pm

 

Outside it was still snowing. Gilbert had only put on his jacket before heading towards the bus stop. He hadn’t even set two steps outside and was already regretting that decision. The bus stop was a good ten-minute walk away, Surely Oz would be frozen by now.

He couldn’t walk much faster, afraid that he might fall. It took him a good five minutes before he ran into the blond. Oz’s whole face seemed to light up once he recognized the raven, “Ah Gil!” he was four hours too late. He must have been exhausted, yet still smiled as if nothing was wrong. As if he didn’t just waste his entire birthday at work. Oz caught up to him and wrapped his arms around the man’s waist. “Brrt, It’s cold,” he shivered,

Gilbert froze for just a second before he returned the hug, a small smile on his face. After months of hiding, it was odd to see Oz being affectionate in public. Even though it was already late. “We should go inside,”

“Yes! I’m freezing,” the blond nodded, he placed a quick kiss on the raven’s lips before he let go. “I’m tireeeed,” he grabbed Gil’s hand, gently swaying it back and forth as they walked back to their apartment building.

“So like… half an hour before I want to close up, this huge group of seniors shows up…” Oz said, and Gilbert listened to his story. When they reached the door, Oz let go of his hand so that he could unlock the door.

“Ugh it’s still cold,” the young male complained while he entered the building, already heading towards the lift. “Do we still have Mint tea?”

“Ah no… I forgot to buy new ones,” Gil said and pressed the button to go up, “I did buy chocolate, I could make warm chocolate milk?” he offered,

“That’s good as well,”

The doors opened, Oz took a step forward. He linked both hands behind his back and smiled brightly at his lover, “So~” he hummed,

“So,” Gilbert echoed dryly, he pressed the button to the fourth floor.

“Today’s my birthday,”

“I know,”

“At least tell me you’re going to surprise me-“ _Oh no,_ “-With some homemade pie,”

“A-ah…” he looked up, noticing how close the blond was, “Did I now?”

“Gil,” Oz pouted, he wrapped both arms around the man’s neck, pulling him down for a quick kiss. The lift then stopped.

Gilbert wondered how he was going to keep a straight face with Oz acting so clingy, knowing that their friends were waiting inside. He still let Oz kiss him before he opened the door, listened to him complain about the cold. Oz muttered something about a long hot bath while he opened the door. “Oh, we could take one together-“ he then almost tripped over his own feet once he saw everyone,

“Ah Oz!” Alice greeted him with a happy smile,

Break was the only one that shouted “Surprise,”

And Oscar blew a party whistle,

“Surprise indeed,” Oz laughed, he cast a quick look over his shoulder at Gilbert, “Did you seriously plan a surprise party behind my back?”

To which he shrugged in response,

“Isn’t it lovely?” Sharon cheered,

“Lovely indeed,” the blond laughed. He didn’t even bother to hide how surprised he was. Gilbert couldn’t help but smile when he saw how happy Oz was. Surrounded by the people he loved.

 

* * *

 

August 14, 2016 – 19.42pm

 

With August came the rain. Day after day, the rain would pour. Keeping many people locked in their house. It was a miracle the streets weren’t flooded yet. Gil hated rainy Sundays. Instead of going to the market, he remained stuck inside. He had already cleaned his entire apartment.

Twice.

So when his bell rang, he had to admit that he felt slightly relieved. Even Break’s company would be appreciated. Though the hatter had gotten rather mad at him the last time they met. Angry at him for turning his back to Oz.

Perhaps Vincent…

He pressed the intercom button, “Hello?” at first he thought he couldn’t hear anything because of the rain. It was all he could hear for a good ten seconds. He was about to say that he’d come down if it weren’t for a familiar voice interrupting him,

“Hi… i-it… It’s me, can I come up?”

His eyes widened, his throat seemed too dry and Gilbert did not know what to do. Was this how it was always going to be? Even when they broke up? Oz would somehow always find the most unexpected moments to pop up. Catching Gil completely off guard.

“Y-yeah… sure…” he gulped, then hung up.

He didn’t know what face to make. Would he have to pretend as if nothing happened? Why had Oz come here anyway? Weeks of radio silence and then _this?_ Why now? Had he perhaps forgotten something- but that would be impossible. Gilbert would have stumbled upon it by now.

He hesitated when he heard the knock on the door. Reached out to the doorknob a few times, only to pull back. As if said object would burn him. In the end, he took a deep breath and pulled the door open.

And there he stood, his face pale, he was trembling from head to toe and soaked to the bone. Yet, the moment Gilbert opened the door, he smiled.

“Oz…” he breathed out his name,

And Oz said, “I chose you,”

Those were the words Gilbert had always wanted to hear. Ever since he offered Oz to runaway together at the beach. He had wanted for nothing more but for Oz to leave his richly colored life behind and spend the rest of his life by the raven’s side. Yet he had never dared to say those words out loud. Nor had he ever wanted for things to turn out like this.

Just by looking at Oz, he knew that something was terribly wrong. Just hearing those words, left the raven breathless.

Oz grimaced, “I-I… I don’t have anywhere else to go… I uhm…” he breathed out a laugh, it lacked any sort of emotion and only broke Gil’s heart further. Surely, Alice would have let him in. Though he could understand why Oz couldn’t go to her now. He had after all, just broken off his engagement with her. Even though both of them had never loved each other like that.

“Just for one night… I’ll find somewhere else to stay; I promise…”

Gilbert pulled him into a hug. Oz shut up right away, he froze. Not sure if he should return the hug. “I’m sorry,” the raven whispered, “I’m so… so sorry,” he then let go of him and told him to enter, “Of course you can stay, y-you can stay as long as you want.”

“Really Gil… It’s fine, I’ll be gone tomorrow, I promise.”

 

* * *

 

 

Oz had told Zai the truth. He later confessed. The boy was dressed in a white shirt coming from Gilbert’s closet and a pair of boxers. Even now, Gil’s clothes were too big for him.

Zai had not been happy. He had at first demanded that Oz would take everything back. They would pretend this conversation never happened. The wedding would still go on. And perhaps years from now, they could both pretend as if it had all been just one big joke.

At first, the young Vesalius had wanted nothing more but to agree. But his mind had been made up, only he had wished that Zai would have understood.

Oscar had married a commoner as well. He’d thought that if given time, his father would eventually turn around.

He didn’t.

He got mad,

Oz had the bruise on his left cheek to prove it.

_I was rejected, never given any expectations... Then at least, I won't be a burden to others. It's alright if the only one who hurts is me._

“I’m not allowed to return,” he said, he had tried to sound matter of fact. As if none of it mattered. But it did matter. Because what could he do from now on? Would his friends still want to be his friends with him now that he no longer carried the Vesalius name?

He sat there, all curled up in himself. Holding his favorite mug with tea in it. His hair was still wet from the shower he took. A towel rested on his shoulders to keep his shirt dry. And he looked so utterly lost.

Oz had nothing, but the clothes he wore. The wallet and the phone he carried in his pockets.

Gilbert refused to let him go.

“I’m sorry for letting you down,”

“You were right to do so…”

 

* * *

 

 

December 27, 2016 - 00.46 am

 

If there was one thing Gilbert hated the most, it was going to bed while his apartment was still a mess. Then again, today had been a long day and he couldn’t blame Oz for wanting to ignore the dirty dishes for once.

He had turned off the lights in the living room and walked into he bedroom. Oz hadn’t even bothered to search for a new set of pajamas. Had simply grabbed one of Gil’s old shirts. The only light in the room came from the bedside lamp. But even with that little amount of light, Gilbert could still see how tired the blond looked. His face paler then usual and dark bags under his eyes. Still he seemed content, a lazy smile on his face as he hugged his right leg to his chest, his head rested on his knee.

“You’ve lost some weight,” _again_ , he said. Oz’s sleeping cycle was a mess, and if it weren’t for Gilbert reminding him, he’d often just forget to eat. _Life of a college student_.

“Are you trying to hit on me, good sir?” Oz joked,

Gilbert rolled his eyes. He sat down in front of the young male and placed his hand on Oz’s jaw, he planted soft butterfly kisses on his lips. “Happy birthday,”

“My birthday is actually already over,” Oz chuckled, still he untangled himself from the sheets so that he could sit closer to the raven. “Thank you… though,” he whispered, eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into Gilbert’s touch.

Raven pushed him down onto the mattress. He placed soft kisses on Oz’s wrist. Then moved back to his mouth. Felt how Oz sighed in their kiss. Oz was tired, Gil easily noticed by the lazy kisses he gave in return. He barely protested when Gilbert pinned his arms down to the bed.

He did help Gil with removing his shirt, leaving him in nothing but his boxers. Gilbert fumbled only a bit with his own clothes. Usually, the blond would have eagerly helped him. Now he just watched in awe.

They didn’t have to do anything. He just wanted to touch a little, Raven thought while his hands slid down over Oz’s slim body. He furrowed his brow when his hand slid over Oz’s ribs. Making a mental note to himself that he should keep an eye on Oz’s eating habits.

Oz gasped softly when Gil caressed his tights. He took it all in, the sight of Oz lying on _their_ mattress, in _their_ bedroom. The sheet all tangled up beneath him while his breath grew more and more uneven.

“Are you tired?” he then asked, removing Oz’s shorts in one swift movement.

Oz whimpered beneath him, he shook his head and turned his head so that Gilbert could kiss his neck. He left a trail of kissmarks on his skin, and for once didn’t care if Oz would get mad at him the next day. Tomorrow their break would start. They shouldn’t have to worry about anyone.

He placed a wet kiss behind Oz’s ear. “Gil… Gil….” He chanted, over and over while Gilbert grabbed his arousal. He pressed his thumb against the tip off it, played with the younger male’s balls.

Oz arched his back, curled his toes, while he encouraged him to go. He whispered a thousand things, some of them made sense, others Gil didn’t even bother to try to understand, “ _There… oh- Gil, oh Gil….”_  

He tried to say something, his hands fumbled with Gil’s hair for a bit before he pulled him back for another kiss. One that left them both breathless. All the while Gil never stopped pleasuring him.

“Stop… Stop…”

“Hm?” he hummed,

Oz looked flustered, his face flushed, he hid his face with both his arms then,

“O-Oz…?”

“…You too…” he gasped, he moaned when another wave of pleasure ran through him, and Gil realized that he was holding in. He was trying to keep himself from coming too soon.

“O-Oz…?”

“You too,” Oz removed his arms, instead chose to cup his lover’s face with both hands, he nuzzled his nose against Gil’s. His hot breath caressed the man’s lips. Oz then did something he had never done. It was like their first kiss all over again, with the Vesalius trying to figure things out along the way. He wrapped his legs around the man’s waist. So that Gil’s own arousal brushed against Oz’s. This time, it was the raven that had to bite back a moan.

He panted the blond’s name, low and hot against his ear. “We shouldn’t-”but why shouldn’t they?

Because Oz was tired?

Because it was too soon? But was it really? They had been dating for a year now, aside from a bit fumbling here and there they hadn’t gone much further. A year wasn’t too soon.

Yet… this was different. Did Oz even know what he was asking.

“Kiss me,” Oz said,

Gilbert realized that he had stopped with everything he was doing, lost in his own thoughts. He looked up to meet Oz’s gaze, the blond smiled, soft and genuine. He kissed him, “Are you… sure? I-I mean… we can wait-“

“No… it’s fine,” the blond hummed, his hands tugged his hair. Oz placed feather-soft kisses on the man’s face,

“Perhaps we should…” he offered, yet while he said that, his mouth was already moving down again. He unlinked Oz’s legs so that he could hug the blond’s thigh to his chest,

“It’s my birthday, forgive me for being bold, but Gil…” Oz arched his back once Gil’s hot breath caressed his arousal,

“Hm?” the raven hummed, he smiled, proud of the state Oz was in. _He did that_.

“I’m sure we can-… _ngh!_ D-do this now-… Ah.”

Gilbert kissed the tip of Oz’s cock, “It’s December 27, though.”

“Gil, please…”

He nodded, even laughed when Oz let out a disappointed sound once he pulled back. Out of the drawer of his bedside stand, he grabbed a small bottle. Once the blond caught sight of it, his face seemed to heat up even more. “You’re sure?” he asked again, just because he was Gilbert and needed to know that Oz was absolutely certain and not just pushing himself.

And Oz nodded, “Just hurry up…”

Each movement was slow. Oz followed everything with his eyes, even thought the aroused state he was in, he still had that intelligent look in his eyes. .

Gilbert put the first slick finger in, and Oz tensed up just the slightest bit. Before he tried to relax as best as possible.

The second one followed not soon after, and Gilbert distracted Oz by kissing him slowly. The Vesalius’s eyes were shut, soft little moans escaped his mouth now and then, but over all, he was doing well.

He gave him time to get used to it, before he removed his fingers. When he pulled back just the slightest bit, Oz quickly followed, not wanting to break the kiss just yet.

So Gil fumbled with the lube, it might have taken him a bit longer then excepted to stroke the lube onto his own cock. And when he finally pushes the tip into Oz, he watched in awe at Oz’s face. How hard he tried not give away too much away.

Gilbert moved slow, his lips caressed Oz’s. The Vesalius’s lips were pressed together into a thin line, too focused on getting used to the strange feeling. His legs around Gil’s hips trembled, and he seemed to have trouble with keeping his face straight.

“Hey… Hey…” Gilbert panted, trying to get his attention. Oz looked up and met his gaze, “You’re okay?”

Oz nodded, he wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders, asking him softly to move a bit faster. And Gilbert happily listened. Pushing just a bit deeper, just a bit faster. Until he fell into a pace he could easily keep up. With every thrust, Oz moaned softly in his ear. _“There-… there…_ ” he would pant,

Until he’d curl his toes in pleasure and tense up completely, Gil didn’t stop, helped the young man ride off his orgasm.

One of the reasons why he had never minded that Oz was always receiving, was because he was sure the blond would never be able to keep up with him. Not when he still lacked so much experience. Gil liked to build everything up, he liked to take his time.

“Do you want me to…?” he asked, already pulling out,

“N-no… you can go on,” the blond whispered, he nodded, as if to assure himself as well. “ _Please…_ don’t stop,”

And so Gilbert kept going, each trust slow and deep. Oz’s breath grew more uneven. But he seemed to hold on better this time, being able to keep up with Gil’s slow pace. Slow enough for them to kiss. And Gilbert would whisper how much he loved him, while Oz nodded. Because that was all he could do then. He no longer could focus on anything but what they were doing.

It felt good.

Gil couldn’t help but feel slightly proud when he noted how good the blond felt.

When he finally reached his own orgasm, Oz’s eyes widened just the slightest bit. He clung onto the man, hands gently stroked his back.

Was this the first time he saw Gilbert orgasm? He wondered,

When he pulled slightly back, he saw the small smile on the blond’s lips.

“Good?” Oz dared to ask,

To which Raven chuckled, “Good,” he said, hand already going down to help Oz get rid of his own problem. And Oz gasped, his walls clenched, and Gil could go on for a second round if this wasn’t Oz’s first time. So he slowly pulled himself out of the boy, while his hand stroked the Vesalius’s arousal.

And when Oz came for a second time, Gil was sure the blond would have fallen asleep right then and there. He cleaned them both up with some tissues, and promised the blond he could take a shower tomorrow if he wanted to.

He let the younger male’s head rest on his chest, their legs tangled up together. His hand gently brushed Oz’s hair out of his face.

“How was it… your first actual birthday party?” he then asked softly,

“Alice ate most of the pie,” Oz mumbled, already dozing off, “T’was fun though… thanks,”

He laughed softly, “Good night, Oz,”  

“G’night,”

 

* * *

 

11.32pm

 

“Hey Alice,”

“Raven, why are you calling with Oz’s phone?” was the first thing the brunette asked. To which Gilbert rolled his eyes, he glanced at Oz, who sat on the sofa. A blanket wrapped around him while he drank a warm cup off coffee. He was staring outside one of the windows, at the snow that slowly fell down from the sky.

“Turns out I don’t have your number,”

“Have you tried searching _Master_ in your contacts?”

“Still not your manservant,”

To which she laughed, “I beg to differ,”

He pinched his nose, “Look, I’m calling because… Oz and I can’t make it today, we’re going to have to reschedule,”

He knew that Oz had overheard, just by the way his whole face turned red. He had protested loudly when Gilbert offered to carry him, said that even if he was sore _down there_ he could still walk. Thank you very much. Gilbert had received two good punches in the stomach before the blond eventually gave up and let himself be carried,

“Huuuh? What sort of nonsense is this?” the brunette asked, clearly offended.

In the background, he could hear Sharon ask, “What’s wrong?”

“Seaweedbrain and Oz can’t make it,”

To which Break laughed, “Turns out a new cellphone wasn’t the only present Oz got for his birthday,”

“Why am I on loudspeaker?” Gil asked, face heating up.

“Doesn’t matter, give me Oz!”

“No,”

“What? How dare you!”

Gilbert ignored her rant, he held the phone away from his ear. And only felt slightly guilty about it when he saw Oz glare at him from where he was seated. He looked better though, what one night of good rest could do. So Gilbert smiled at him.

To which Oz smiled back.

He hung up the phone after Alice was done with her rant,

“Do you remember when we first met?” he asked, catching the Vesalius completely off guard,

“At the summerhouse,” Oz beamed,

“I’d like to… do that again someday… walking under the stars with you, that is.” Gil confessed,

Oz seemed to think about it, he took another thoughtful sip of his coffee before he nodded and said, “Me too,”

 

* * *

 

 _I know nothing with any certainty,_  
but the sight of the stars makes me dream  
V. Van Gogh

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a review! Also, English is not my first language, so please tell me if you find any spelling mistakes ^^


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